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[methodofmadness]

This is Christopher, leave a message. [He clears his throat and quietly to the side whispers 'how was that Peggy? Yeah...yeah some more oomph. I thought so too']

You've reached Chaos! Leave a message or this answering machine will explode!

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[methodofmadness]

The question hangs in the darkness and Christopher considers it.

If he were a good person, if he wasn't evil, what would the answer be? What makes a good person? The ability to look passed transgressions? He is a person who, in certain instances, holds a grudge. Maybe he isn't good for that reason.

He's reminded of the look on Germaryah's face, how upset he was that he'd died. He didn't like that, though he did like that he cried for him, that implies mutual feelings, if they exist any more. But would he cry for the Ghoul?

He doesn't like the Ghoul, and he can follow that line down far enough to say that he hates him. But they're both immortal on the barge, death isn't permanent. What good would that do? Would it make him feel better?

Do feelings matter when it comes to death?

"I don't know. I think in some ways yes, in some ways no." Theres so much going on in his brain as he considers all that he wants, why and what it could do for him.

"I suppose the first question I have would be how? Would anyone know it was you?"

[thereisnoif]

Nokov waits as Chris thinks about it.

He's killed a lot of people. He wouldn't say that he's ever killed for no reason. It's not that he cares about being a 'good' or 'bad' person (he considers that a mortal affliction), but he isn't a wasteful one. Sometimes that reason is a matter of revenge.

There are plenty of necessary deaths, and the rush of vengeance can be extremely necessary to properly continue to lead you life. He doesn't know if it's necessary for Christopher, but, he feels, it usually is it's simply that not everyone is able to see it clearly.

It's vengeance that carries virtue.

"They wouldn't know." He's killed a lot of people! He knows how to make it work! "I would wait for an appropriate port. If there are enough people there are people who can be accused of carrying out such an act."

[methodofmadness]

"Hmm." He feels like he should ask The Eleven what he would do in this instant, though reaching out and calling for him feels like a lot of effort right now. He's very tired.

"The longer we wait, the less likely someone might think it has anything to do with my death... Maybe I'll think about it. How long does the offer stand? Is there a time limit on how long I should hold a grudge? Because I think I'm very good at it... I might not like him until I'm eighty years old."

[thereisnoif]

"You can hold a grudge forever," Nokov says, just as matter-of-fact. "Sometimes it goes away after you kill someone, but sometimes it's still there. So, you can wait."

He can hold a grudge for much longer than seventy years or however long it will be until Chris is eighty, so he doesn't see a reason for him to give it up. Being good at holding onto grudges is a positive, in his opinion. So, the offer stands as long as it needs to.

Now that that's settled:

"I have a question about your plans." He thinks he has something of an outline about them, even if it can get a bit vague.

[methodofmadness]

"I think I can hold one forever." He has continued to hold his grudge against Adam and he hasn't even barely thought about him for the last two months outside of telling people how much he doesn't like him and that he can't be trusted.

He looks up at Nokov, tilting his head, "What sort of plans? My plan for tomorrow? For the next week? for the rest of my life?" Be more specific, friend.

[thereisnoif]

"For the rest of your life."

Apart from holding a grudge forever, though that is a good plan.

[methodofmadness]

"Oh."

Well? He thinks about this for a moment, his tired brain lazily flowing along with the question, "I'm going to find out who I am. And I'm going to stay here forever, and convince the Admiral to turn this place into a paradise for monsters, so that when they die, they can come here and never have to be hunted again."

[thereisnoif]

"They won't all want to come here," Nokov points out. "It's a ship, and it would get very crowded." There are a lot of practical problems, which Nokov has never brought up when he's heard parts of this before. He didn't have anything to say about it, so there had been no reason to.

"I have something better."

[methodofmadness]

Christopher frowns. He doesn't like it when people correct him, or tell him he's wrong. "If the Barge and I become better friends, maybe she'll let me help expand...we could build something beautiful together, take care of everyone and let them live into eternity." It's a very nice dream, he thinks. And even though he doesn't think the Clerics deserve any sort of anything, it doesn't involve a war that he doesn't know how to fight. Here, they're set apart, and it's better that way.

He does tilt his head though, slowly raising a hand as he stares up at the older boy from his spot in his lap, touching his nose with the tip of his finger, "What do you have?"

[thereisnoif]

"You know that there are people who still won't want it." It's possible that Christopher does not, in fact, know this, but Nokov has a (perhaps unwarranted) belief that Chris' ability to make things transfers into an ability to understand how things work. Nokov isn't the most socially adept person, but he knows how to deal with people, and that means he's aware that they can want very different things, including ones that might sound objectively 'lesser'.

"I'm going to make a new world. Perhaps some of them could come there." He's in an extremely generous mood, tonight.

[methodofmadness]

"Then I'll change their mind. They'll want it." He says stubbornly, as if he is the kind of person who is charismatic and socially equipped enough to change anyone's mind about anything.

Though a new world...one that Nokov would create? Finger still on the tip of his nose, he considers it and boops it again. Perhaps that would be acceptable. "One where monsters would be accepted and not killed for existing?"

[thereisnoif]

The first part is clearly ridiculous, so as Nokov is in a generous spirit, he just ignores it. Even if Chris was the most charismatic and socially equipped person in the universe he wouldn't be able to do that, and Nokov is certain that Chris... isn't that.

He pokes him, but not as hard as he could.

"It wouldn't be a better place to go if they were just to be killed."

[methodofmadness]

"I can't know if it would be if I don't ask," Don't poke him, he feels gross. Only he can poke.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't think that maybe he can rearrange his plans, or let that be plan B.

"If I wanted to get there I'd need to graduate. I wasn't planning on doing that."

[thereisnoif]

There is such a thing as a foolish question, but Nokov still rests his hand against Chris' forehead. There's a coolness to them that can help, even if Chris isn't actually sick.

"Why not?"

[methodofmadness]

Oh, that feels nice. His hand flops back down, eyes closing as he takes in a deep breath and exhales. Double death toll had really given him one hell of a headache, and it didn't help that both deaths had involved head injuries. Next time he will consider these things when requesting someone kill him for science.

"Because I'd need to change, and I don't want to. There isn't anything wrong with me."

[thereisnoif]

He huffs lightly.

"That's another reason there are some who would not want to stay here, no matter what. You know that there will be those who wish to grow older and have children and go through the other steps of 'life'."

It's a different type of change, perhaps, but it's still change.

[methodofmadness]

Christopher considers this, considers what he'd seen in the mural in the monster underground.

"They'll all want their own mural...I suppose. That's natural. But eternity is worth so much, don't you think? All that time to learn...I think it's worth it."

[thereisnoif]

"It might be worth it to you, but that doesn't mean it will be to them." Not everyone can be special! "Mortals often don't want eternity. Their minds are different. They'll want a world, even if it means they'll eventually die."

[methodofmadness]

"Well then they're wrong! And I think most monsters live longer than humans do. If they aren't killed. A lot of them are immortal. Though I don't know if I am. Which is why finding out what I am is still first on the list. If I could have eternity outside of the Barge, then perhaps that would be the best of both worlds!"

[thereisnoif]

Chris lacks clear logic, but Nokov has long been aware of that. He knows his name, after all.

"If they're immortal that's all the more reason they might want to settle down on a world rather than traveling here. There's no advantage to it for them, even if there might be for you." So, Nokov is willing to offer some space on his new world.

[methodofmadness]

"But they get to travel and see so many new things! why does home have to stay in one place, anyways?" Is this chaotic? yes, but why expect anything different from Christopher?

"I suppose I will give them options when I get there, to stay here, or go on your new world." He pushes his lips out, thinking. It still feels nice with Nokov's hand on his forehead, and he doesn't want to open his eyes, but he will peak one open, "What would it be like? Would you create life there? Would there be light? Maybe it should have a star made of Aether."

[thereisnoif]

Nokov's home is the night, so it's both everywhere and never in one place. Other people are more limited.

"The old world was stuck in cycles of pain. One group would rise and hurt those less powerful until they feel and the new group took power. You might say that it was a place where monsters would be hunted because they'd be trapped in the same cycle of fear and power. I will wipe that all away. The new world won't fall into those traps." He speaks with certainty, and the sort of passion that's usually hidden under what could be called a brooding exterior.

"There will be light, because people often need both a day and night." Think about the plants! He's not interested in micromanaging them to make things survive without the sun.