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[methodofmadness]

This is Christopher, leave a message. [He clears his throat and quietly to the side whispers 'how was that Peggy? Yeah...yeah some more oomph. I thought so too']

You've reached Chaos! Leave a message or this answering machine will explode!

[gif by wolfy]

Comments

[atowncalledtreffy]

Are you the only one of your kind?

[methodofmadness]

I don't know... I think so? Adam told me that I was a unique sort of monster.

Unique how he barely scratched the surface of. Apparently "having a childhood" is more important than knowing what you are.

But I dont need him, I can figure it out myself.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Ignoring that for the moment…

So why are you testing extremes to the point of dying? You’re unique so the knowledge isn’t transferrable, you’d die off the ship, and stretching your limits that way just puts extra strain on you for no reason since you aren’t going to be in a spot where you’d willingly be exposed to the cold like that.

Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

I think I almost died once when I was experimenting on myself at home.

I got a lot of data out of it, but when I felt like I was just moments away from an epiphany, like I could see the truth in the numbers, my mom broke the door down with an axe and destroyed my machine...

But I cant say I might not be exposed to extreme cold. If Helwing gets ahold of me, maybe they'll torture me that way before they kill me? If I know my advantages, I can prepare for the future!

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

You did that in front of your mother?

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

I sleep walk, and when I sleep walk I build things. I...wasn't completely conscious until she tore me out of it.

I didn't- [There is some struggle there. Clearly he knows it hurt her, and he doesn't want that, but there is something else that calls him to do what he does and he can't resist it, or maybe he doesn't even try to.]

She wasn't supposed to see. I didn't do it to hurt her.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

[Trevor feels torn between saying the obvious and giving the kid a break. He's sixteen. Who hasn't done, stupid, fucked-up shit when they were sixteen? He's planning on doing far worse. He shakes his head, but lets it go]

Warn someone when you start doing shit like that here.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

[He considers this before his head cocks to the side.]

Well you know I want to, doesn't that count?

The more people I tell the more likely it is that it will hurt them, and they'll stop me. I dont want them to stop me, and I don't want it to hurt them, I want to learn.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

I'm a reckless idiot who's doing his own fucked-up thing and people want to stop me. I don't count.

They're going to learn when you end up on someone's monitor, dead.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

People including me! See, this is why no one can know, Trevor! I dont like calling anyone an idiot, but I think maybe I agree with you because you obviously know that, but are doing the opposite. That doesn't make much sense...

[He frowns at the flaw in secret experiments that may end up in his death, nodding seriously.]

If I can figure out how warden items work, maybe I can block the signal. Or, alternatively, campaign for a trusted Warden to be mine, permanently.

If no one revives me after death I can't learn anything, and that doesnt help me either. I should compile a list of Wardens who understand the importance of this research...

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

If no one revives you after death, I'm pretty sure they get demoted. So you don't have that to worry about, even if you're hated.

Good luck on figuring out warden items. Even the smartest, most tech-advanced people I know haven't done it yet. You're not the first genius the Necromancer has scooped up. A lot of it is probably Barge magic.

Either way, whoever gets you is going to be at least a little hurt and upset you keep fu-...screwing up a chance at their deal. And most wardens get attached to their inmates.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

Well, I'm not versed in magic, but I can see how things work. If I spend enough time with it...Or perhaps even build a replica on top of the original so they still function as a key without proper tracking... [He taps his finger on his cheek as he thinks, tilting his head back and forth.]

Regardless, I don't intend on graduating. I suppose It might happen anyways, but I don't like change, I like how I am, and I only just learned what at least some of that means recently. So I think maybe they'll just have to be disappointed.

Pain is worth the knowledge, and death isn't the end. It's paradise.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

Careful with that sentiment. I feel the same and I get slapped with the label “death cultist”.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

I dont think you do.

If you thought the Barge was a paradise then you wouldn't be trying to destroy her.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

This isn't death. And this isn't the end.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

Oh... hmm.

well we could be suspended outside of time in a pocket dimension sustained by magic or Aether, but I distinctly remember being beaten to death by Bloody Jack, so.

I think maybe I am dead? What do you think comes after?

My mom is religious but she never made me go to church so I don't spend much time thinking about it. All I know is that people who remember you fall apart.

[which...hmm. That part makes him sad.]

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

My world had what we called the Infinite Corridor. I think it's a different name for what we're traveling through. I've heard it called pocket dimensions and Aether before, though don't ask me where, I might have just read about it here.

If this were really the afterlife, I'd see my family here. I think we were seized at the moment of death, or maybe just a second or two before, and dragged here.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

Oh...that sounds interesting. Have you been there before? I'd like to see it. And I have heard some people use Aether here, but I believe it's different. My Aether is the primordial chaos energy that gave the spark of life to the universe. It's what makes a monster a monster, according to Adam.

[And unfortunately he has to believe him since he has nothing else go go off.]

Maybe if this were the actual afterlife I would learn who my parents are...interesting concept. Do they only wait for you if they loved you?

Though I suppose they would have to be dead too...

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

No, but members of my family had, and wrote about it. At least four, five now including me. No wait, maybe it’s six. Or seven, depending on how you count it. Fuckssake I hate this place.

That’s…weird. Never heard that theory before. But maybe. Ask the Necromancer, he might actually answer that one. Don’t ask John, he has a shitty habit of believing all universes are the same.

Sorry about your parents. Mine are…well. We believe in an afterlife where all our family is. There’s no waiting, it’s just…it’s there. Some of us have caught glimpses of it.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

Do you have their personal accounts? I'd love to read them. People say witness testimony isn't good enough for most things, but Clement has me believing otherwise... his family mural is their afterlife. It was very beautiful, full of magic and the souls of everyone passed, even his husband!

[Christopher tilts his head at the mention of John, the man he'd been following around much like a baby bird.]

I think maybe they could be and aren't at the same time. But I trust John. He hasn't lied to me, but I suppose he could be wrong... [He's also kind of the god of what Christopher is, so thats a little weird, but ah well. Sometimes he thinks he's a bad friend because he doesnt defend the ones he has, but does it really matter? Hard to say when he isn't quite sure of anything.]

I don't think there is anything to be sorry for. They might not even be dead. Adam wouldn't tell me. My mom wanted me, and I think thats supposed to be enough? It isn't, but I still love her.

Family is what you make it anyways...but Its good you have yours. Have you seen a glimpse of it? Or maybe if you tricked your mind into thinking it was moments from death you could...

That would be a fun experiment.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

Some of them.

Clement Varker? Didn’t know he was married.

John isn’t a liar. He’s just…he works on a scale that’s different from mortals.

Yeah, I did. Briefly. It wasn’t before the ship, and I wasn’t actively dying. That’s how I know it was real.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

I'm on the 8th floor if you wanted to share their accounts. [please want to Trevor, that sounds so interesting! He shakes his head at the question though.]

No, Clement the witch boy. I don't know who that other guy is. His mural is the only thing left untouched in the monster underground after it was destroyed.

But I guess that makes sense... A lot of things I see and know aren't really meant to be known... I just know it and it doesn't drive me mad. I think John is made of that stuff? Or he created it. Maybe. I should ask him...

[Chris has to wonder how much that is magic, or something else. Is the afterlife created by individuals or gods? Hard to say.]

I wonder if werewolves believe in the afterlife... I hope so, and if they do I hope it's nice there.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[atowncalledtreffy]

I've got the written diary of two of them with me, but I want them back. They're meant to go into the family library.

Oh. Right. Must be a more common name in the future. And yeah. Sounds like John.

Depends on the werewolf, to be honest. Not every human believes in an afterlife, either.

Re: Cw: self-harm

[methodofmadness]

[He pauses a moment, considering how badly Trevor might actually want them back, but since he says family library, he supposes it's important. Which means sigh, he should probably ask instead of just taking.]

Can I make copies?